Hey.
Been ill for the past few days; and haven't seen you online much recently.
Missing you.
Strangely, my air of depression seems to have gone away a little.
I recently got to know a new guy friend.
He seems to come into my life at a very apt time, considering with all the pseudo lesbian/femae shit going on.
So yeah, I'm interested.
And here cometh the confused shit again.
And I am bloody interested, but trying to take things slowly, and convincing myself that he will never fall for an ugly fuck like me.

Somehow; I feel that the perfection we never had, might be perfection itself. As weird and incomprehensible as it sounds; or maybe I just can't phrase it in words, but yeah, true perfection is always imperfect.

And now, I'm just wallowing in the glow of adolescent crushes and lying on the bed in the lethargy of an illness.
So yeah.
Take care.
I will always, always love you.

tututututututu~
<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
qiqi

Hey

I'm still a friend to you. I know u like to be alone but I'm reaching out to you anyways.

It still makes me feel a bit sad to see u like this sometimes. I wish I could have done more and helped u more, but I guess I've learnt I'm only mortal.

I saw a line in my textbook today, that explains why we have "ideal theories". We have theories like "ideal gas" and "ideal fluid" flow, and they are ALWAYS ideal because they're never real, they can never be real. Perhaps it's a bit tragic that perfection is impossible, in our lifetime at least, but I guess thats reality for us.

Meanwhile, do take care because like a fool, I still care for u as a friend cares for a friend, even though my concern might be unwanted and un-needed.

*hugz*

<3333333
Emmie

everytime i think of it...
i pinch myself..





i tell myself....
for the best.
for the best.










so many things in life to think about....




Life's like a sheet of paper.
My life is like a sheet of yellow paper.....
Old, crumpled with ugly ugly ugly scrawlings on it.
Your signature will always remain there..........................................................





















































Paper burns easily.......
It is my life, my paper......
Yet I choose to burn it.







Or maybe being burnt is only a matter of time..............................................................
and everything will fall to the ground..............................
and all u see are ashes..............................
whatever that piece of paper was.........
will just be a black and grey mush.










if anyone bothered........................................
the content from all my blogs.....
from the blogs provided by sites like fridae etc............................
and some of the info by my friends.........................................
that would be the true me.









i dont lie............................................................
i just dont tell one person the truth..............................................
bits n pieces of everything......................................................................................................
scattered all over.........
my life spread out evenly......
for everyone to have a piece of.













how does it feel to die from arsenic..............




















the moving of house is making me so.............
depressed.


















cry myself to sleep.
even if u all say i am overreacting.
i cannot bear to leave.
wherver i stay,
cant b bothered now.
my thighs r fucking wet with saline now.....
tears are sterile.
so it is fine if u cut urself...
and let tears drip all over it..................................................................


















































new paths in life....






















may our paths cross again.






























new directions.
i am lost.
















why m i so emo now.



























no apetite.










no mood.














no energy.
















no money.













only me and my tears, and my soft toys for company................................................





















the guys who hit on me want sex.........













so do the girls.













tt is y my perfect world has no love at all...........
with no start comes no end.













my perfect world is so organised because.........






















my life...............


























is one humongous mess................................................................




















i dont know why i am typing like this...................................























cant even b bothered to type properly..........















my capitals r not there.....


















spelling is all wrong.













there is this emptiness.
















cant put my finger to it........................................................................














































so im just making everything gone too.















so empty will be nothing.
























nothing = me.
























me = nothing.































































love,
qibi.

Babeeee got your new cam? tell me about it. I wanna seeeeee!

Erm, about the animals.... how can u feel like being cruel to them... its like being cruel to children...

=(

Emmiee

In tangles.
In and out.
Sleepless in queensway.














Flies will lay their eggs.















bibi=)

Sigh.
Stupid lah.
I wish you didn't have to go too.
I'm glad I don't have to send u off later.
Don't want to cry anymore.
bleah.
for once, im lost for words.
totally.

Babe I don't wanna leave u. One month, so much has changed. So many 1sts we had. Everything from our 1st kiss to our Wisma Esprit changing room episode, to our 1st big tiff and rough patch. So much, so many challenges overcome, and we've grown so close in spirit. I love you so deeply I can't even put it coherently in words, I don't want to leave you. I love it that u're being selfish in wanting something to happen so I can't leave, because it shows how much u want me here with u. I love the way u say 'okIES' to me even though u once told me u hate it when people use 'okies' instead of 'okay', just because im used to saying 'okies' I've never been this loved before. I love you. I wish I wouldn't have to leave so u wouldn't cry.

Baby I don't wanna go...

Emmiee

WE are supposed to shower right now.
But I just can't seem to tear myself away from the laptop.
Oh well.
Thinking of what to eat later.
Pimples are growing like nobody business on my face,
Hmmm.


I am feeling quite tired now, after chionging some posts.
:lol:
And I feel funny.
And hungry.
And oily.

Ok.
Shower time.
Don't say I never tell you I will be late hor.
Just that you didn't see this post nia.
HAHA.



qi.